Nonsensical Life
all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

  1. valiantpenguinn reblogged this from skeptikhaleesi
  2. amivyfu reblogged this from cumbotter
  3. ron-swansons-tardis reblogged this from facts-i-just-made-up
  4. kittenears11 reblogged this from prince-of-prospit
  5. screamingcreaming reblogged this from bisexualzuko
  6. doncheadleswarmachine reblogged this from captnamericuh
  7. basically-supernaturalstuck reblogged this from nishiki-nishiio
  8. mortewashere reblogged this from thatweirdonamedjaz
  9. thatweirdonamedjaz reblogged this from barefootcosplayer
  10. howtobechill reblogged this from hogfarts-will-burn-to-the-ground
  11. genagenagenagena reblogged this from hogfarts-will-burn-to-the-ground
  12. nopuedeserenserio reblogged this from skinsky
  13. pyrrhiantimelord reblogged this from spaceyacey
  14. rainelily reblogged this from bryanna2013
  15. the-brown-man reblogged this from naina-thug-lenge
  16. bunsaremylife reblogged this from bisexualzuko
  17. hogfarts-will-burn-to-the-ground reblogged this from fufucuddlypuffs
  18. prince-of-prospit reblogged this from barefootcosplayer
  19. barefootcosplayer reblogged this from nishiki-nishiio
  20. reinaclara reblogged this from bryanna2013
  21. nishiki-nishiio reblogged this from cutthroatpixie
  22. 13margo13 reblogged this from trombones-and-tea
  23. skinsky reblogged this from cutthroatpixie
  24. bryanna2013 reblogged this from trombones-and-tea
  25. vgassassin reblogged this from thatonegaykid413
  26. dontexpectperfect reblogged this from spaceyacey
  27. monifa-sy reblogged this from spaceyacey
  28. onetusk reblogged this from concrete-caesar
  29. cutthroatpixie reblogged this from f1rstperson