Nonsensical Life
all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

  1. tastyfishistasty reblogged this from pinkiepiebones
  2. pinkiepiebones reblogged this from mpreg-jesus
  3. kriegsvirtualgf reblogged this from chaosmetroid
  4. my-kraken-perry reblogged this from kisspirit-light
  5. rhapsody-in-wumbo reblogged this from were-allalittlemad
  6. eodeez reblogged this from findingmyselfinthewoods
  7. findingmyselfinthewoods reblogged this from thereyouhadme
  8. buttercuppycake reblogged this from taewoonie
  9. taewoonie reblogged this from kisspirit-light
  10. kisspirit-light reblogged this from ani-pang
  11. ani-pang reblogged this from thisisascam
  12. thereyouhadme reblogged this from were-allalittlemad
  13. drwhomeveryouplease reblogged this from joetuhroe
  14. thisisascam reblogged this from my-awful-blog
  15. weebtimes reblogged this from chaosmetroid
  16. oceanbitchs reblogged this from theaggroslair
  17. kuzuryuuke reblogged this from chaosmetroid
  18. were-allalittlemad reblogged this from my-awful-blog
  19. chaosmetroid reblogged this from my-awful-blog
  20. carryonmypaintedwhore reblogged this from alchemist4thewin
  21. theaggroslair reblogged this from mpreg-jesus
  22. rated-r-for-random reblogged this from mpreg-jesus
  23. hottesturlinamerica reblogged this from musesofotaku
  24. rulerred reblogged this from joetuhroe
  25. regretandmagic reblogged this from escapebound
  26. linkaro reblogged this from seagullshroom
  27. mpreg-jesus reblogged this from joetuhroe
  28. joetuhroe reblogged this from my-awful-blog
  29. addictedtovisualnovels reblogged this from my-awful-blog
  30. mangopatch reblogged this from escapebound
  31. nobody-special reblogged this from escapebound